Why Saying No Is More Crucial Than Saying Yes
Discipline is a mental muscle that needs to be worked every day.
Do you ever struggle to stay present?
Have you ever had a moment where you will struggle to stay focused on “x” because you’re thinking about “y” then when you get to doing “y” you struggle with it because you’re thinking about “x?”
It’s like this cycle that never ends. It doesn’t matter what time or place you are in, you cannot focus no then task at hand because there is too much mental chatter going on in the brain.
Then you fall behind everything and it creates an even larger issue. You cannot focus on the present moment. You feel like you’re only putting 10% of yourself into anything.
This is because you struggle to say no in your mind. Your body may be doing something else but your mind isn’t there 100% there.
The Mental “No”
When we say no to something, we don’t always completely shut the door in our mind.
How often have you said no to doing something but deep down you knew that you still thought of the door as open?
This is the most functional form of procrastination. You’re burning all your mental resources in the present moment because you are afraid to let go.
I used to think that if I wasn’t always thinking about writing, that I would somehow “lose” it.
This isn’t the case, in fact, thinking about writing all the time is what caused me to get burnt out on writing. I wasn’t allowing my brain to relax.
Your thoughts matter more than you think they do.
What Happens If You Don’t Say No
Do you ever struggle to get something out of your head? You get some crazy idea but deep down you know it’s not realistic to do unless you make some steep sacrifices.
When you don’t say no, you don’t have clear set priorities mentally. You can’t let go of the idea of doing something.
Have you ever had a moment where someone asked you to do something for them and you didn’t know a way to get out of it?
This is a sure sign to being a people pleaser for others but saying no can go far beyond how you interact with others.
Struggling to say no to things yourself is as crucial as saying no to other people.
If you struggle to say no to things, open up your calendar. When is the last time that you followed it?
If the only thing on your calendar that you have followed in the last month is going to work and the things that are vitally important that you can’t miss, then you are probably struggling to set your priorities.
Prioritize What Matters
This suggestion is pretty cut and dry. Make a list of all the things that you enjoy doing. All of them. The list can be as extensive as you want.
Now cross off everything you have until you have three things left.
Realistically, those three things are the only things you will be able to do in any given day.
Fitness matters to me and so does getting my writing in. What’s more important? Right now, writing is more important to me. I set a rule to myself that I am not allowed to workout on any given day until I have written for at least 30 minutes.
Set rules for yourself and follow them.
When you don’t follow your own rules you set, you are subconsciously telling yourself that what you are doing doesn’t matter.
Treat everything you do as the most important thing in the world to you.
If you had a flight scheduled early tomorrow morning, I bet you would wake up.
Stop Setting This Dangerous Precedent In Your Life:
About 10 years ago is when I began to have aspirations to run ultra marathons. I would look at races on ultrasignup.com all the time. I would find a race that I wanted to sign up for but would never pull the trigger. I began a routine of looking at price increase dates, putting it in my calendar and decide that I would pull the trigger then.
Saying no in life is a crucial life skill. I’m not saying that you should be rude about shutting people down but you also need to let people know where you stand. You also need to let yourself know where you stand.
Without saying no to the thousands of things that you can do at any given moment today, you will allow the part of your mind that is undisciplined to take over.
Discipline is like a mental muscle that you need to exercise each day. The less you exercise it, the quicker it will atrophy.
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